TEENA'S GISTS

They met at a bar Him a fine, reserved  young man Her a bubbly young woman Once she set her eyes on him She knew she wanted him So she went and she sat and they talked About life, love, family,  work, About  Everything They talked their souls away Late into the night It felt like they were old friends They bonded And when they raised their heads It was midnight And they were alone 'Let's go to your place' she suggested She could not bear to spend a second without him "Oh No! " Yours will be fine They left in the darkness of the night The security man opened the gate 'Welcome Aunty' He said "Thank you" She opened the door to her house and they walked in, He gazed into her eyes Her feet were unsteady She closed her eyes and waited And come did he The taste of his lips was a mixture of orange juice and alcohol and cream It drove her mad Carefully he kissed her And when his hands went to t...

I write this with my face covered. Please don't laugh at me. Remember Lagos Na Wa Episode 1 where I shared the tale of how I almost was taken to  Seme border?  If you didn't read it, go through my wall. It is some where there. So after the Lagos tour,  my rectum was dilated and ready to spill meaning I was pressed. I wanted to poop. Jesu! The urge was so strong and as soon as the bus entered the Island,  it intensified. I carried my bum bum with the poo ready to drop and sat in the bus. I got to Elegushi  bus stop,  alighted. A man I asked for directions to pointed at ahead of him and said that was the gate of the  Estate I was looking for. I ignored the Okada men at the bus stop and started trekking because I was scared of what the speed and bumps would do. That turned out to be a bad decision. Left,  right,  right and left. No gate insight. I convinced myself that I could do it. God knows I couldn't. My ancestors were just la...

Written on August 15th at 10:42am Happening now I'm on my way to the office The office driver just pointed out something to us Along Lekki - Epe express way,  there is a body cut in two on the road. I can't detect where it is a man or a woman Half of the body; from the waist down is lying on the road. We cannot see the other half It wasn't there when we drove past last night The accident must have happened in the middle of the night or early this morning Or could it be the handwork of ritualist and kidnappers? Could they have dragged it out to the road themselves? The Road Safety men are directing commuters so they don't run over the body I'm scared now #LagosNaWa #JayTeeSays