Last week, I was opportuned to sit under a great man of God and learn from his teachings on how to maximize one's singlehood. I was really blessed so I decided to share my jottings with you my friends so you too can learn.
Singlehood is that period in everyone's life when you are not married. You are single once in your life. No one can be single twice. If you were married and then you lose your spouse to death, you become a widow or widower. if you legally separate from your spouse, you become a divorcee. When filling out a form, there are usually spaces alloted for married, single, widowed and divorced persons. Everyone has to tick on the right box.
Singlehood is the period you have all the time, strength, freedom, opportunity, zeal, passion, and whatever else in abundance. You can play all you want, sleep all you want, travel whenever and wherever as long as you have the money. You can read for as long as you like. You can stay in bed all day, see movies all night, you can do anything and yes everything. Unfortunately, many often misuse this period, make so much mistakes and are left with nothing but regrets for the future.
While marriage is beautiful, it should be a do or die affair. One should not see marriage as the busstop of his/her destiny. Alot of people can't wait to get married because their mates are getting married. Hence, they put their lives on hold and channel their dreams and efforts to marriage.Some people believe they will achieve everything they failed to achieve once they get married, they will put in extra efforts and develop themselves. This is rarely true because marriage comes with alot of responsibilities which need so much attention and one might end up forgetting life long dreams to pay attention to those responsibilities. You only give to your spouse what you come into marriage with.
As singles, we often fall into pits which if we are not careful, are capable of sinking us forever. Some of these pits include:
1. Placing your life on suspension: Never place your life on hold because of someone (a fiance or fiancee, a lecturer, an employer) or something( visa wait, result, wedding,job). Don't ever do this. While you wait for that person or thing, get involved in other profitable activities; learn a trade, acquire a skill, write another exam or join a meaningful society. Don't just sit down and wait!
2. Total dependency: Carefully deliver yourself from dependency. Whether you are a student, a graduate, an apprentice or a professional, singlehood is the time you must be able to cut the aprons of total dependency off. Learn to handle your financial issues by yourself. Invest in a business. Your fiance should not become an ATM machine simply because he proposed marriage to you.
3. Competitive jealousy. Abstain from competitive jealousy. You are not in a competition with anyone. You get ther, I get there. We all get there is what matters. Celebrate with whoever gets there before you and keep struggling. Don't be blinded jealousy.
4. Becoming married without knowing: Avoid becoming a married bachelor or a married spinster. You are not married until you are married. Anyone who wants to enjoy the benefits of marriage (well cooked meals, sex, complete financial support, live-ins, well done laundry, etc) from and with you should simply marry you or allow you get married to them.
5. Obssession with marriage: Do not be obssessed with marriage that it becomes your only prayer point and visions. Life doesn't end after marriage.
So true
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