The next session, I dropped out of school and moved in with James. I attended classes regularlyat first to prevent people from asking questions. Every money my parents gave me from then onwards was used to support James and I. James did little business sometimes and made some money which he used to support us. We agreed that I would go back to school once he graduated and got a job. All this while my parents were kept in the dark . I cut off from the few friends I had to prevent them from suspecting what was going on.
My parents marriage became plagued with so many crisis. My father lost his job with the construction company, my mum was diagnosed with cancer of the breast and my youngest brother fell from a staircase, broke his legs badly and was confined to a wheel chair. My father who had always been very emotional and soft experienced a terrible psychological trauma. He left the house one day without his phone and without dropping any contact address. My mum took ill and since I was the oldest child I had to come back home and stay with her. It was this period that my secret was exposed. Selena, a former classmate of mine bumped into I and my mother on our way to the hospital one evening and in her usual loud and talkative manner, she started,
" Aah! Matilda, where have you been? You disappeared just like that. You just left school midway. I heard you dropped out o since third abi second year. Is it because of that boy, James, is that his name? That means you won't graduate. Eeeya. Sorry. Tell me. what happened?
My mother on hearing these went into shock and collapsed. When she was revived, I rushed to her to explain the situation to her. She waved and simply asked me,
" Was she right? Have you been in school?
"No, mum, but.....I shuddered in fright as I explained to her how I wanted to help James and how everything was already planned for me to go to school once James was done.I kept going on and on.
"Shut up, you fool", my mother screamed and broke into tears.
"After all we've done for you? You went to school to 'mother' another person's child".You are the most foolish girl on earth. Get away from me. Go home, pack your things and leave. Don't come back and don't call me until you get a university degree".
I felt so sad seeing my mother cry like that. I tried consoling her but she wriggled away from me like I had 'the sickness'.I left and promised myself that I'd surprise her in a short time.
'I'll get a degree and mama will see that I wasn't wrong afterall" I said to myself as I left. This was how I lost my immediate family.
Time flew fast and soon James graduated with second class upper honours and went for the mandatory one year National Youth Service Corps(NYSC) at Kwara state. I went with him. We rented a one apartment and lived tgether. James encouraged me to attend JAMB lessons. I looked for one nearby and registered with them. At first, I managed to combine taking care of the house and attending the lessons coupled with the fact that I was lagging behind as I was always late for lessons,I soon got tired and had to quit.James was disappointed but I assured him that as soon he was done with service and secured a job, we'd get married, get a maid and I would register and br committed to preparing for JAMBexams.
True enough, upon completion of NYSC, Jameswas offered a job with an insurance company in Enugu with the help of an old shool friend.I registered for JAMB once again, attended lessons and sat for the exams the following year but unfortunately, I scored 104. I was frustrated and angry with ,yself. James encouraged me to try again. I did the following year and scored 116. This time I nearly wept myself to death. The third year I tried again and managed to score 137. That was it. I gave up and swore never to attempt the examination again.I searched for employment and got one as a primary 2 class teacher at a small primary school on the street next to where we lived.
James and I eventually did a court marriage with only three colleagues of our present and without our family's consent. James suggested that we suspended thoughts of having children until we were better stable financially. I agreed. Few months after our marriage, I started noticing some changes in my husband. He came home unusually late, made very calls, became particularly concerned about how he dressed towork and many other previously unimportant issues. I confronted him but he rebuffed my fears and told me to stop worrying over irrelevant things. My husband didn't change. Instead he worsened. He began talking down on me.Whenever, I complained about his new behaviour, he told me I was nagging him because I was illiterate and timid. I immediately withdrew into a corner because I didn't want the argument to continue.
Before long, James got a promotion at his company and his new position required that he travelled alot.The new position marked the end of me enjoying my husband's company or so I thought.
James began coming home about three times a week and stopped going to church. The remaining days of the week, he claimed he spent them at the office and on company assignment trips, My husband stopped giving me money to take care of the home. Many times, I complained and even begged him to give me little cash to cook and take care of myself, he reminded me that I had a job and no kids so the little money I had should do for my meagre expenses.Whenever I brought the suggestion of having kids again, James would go into a fit and shout at me, he would call me lazy and selfish. He would claim I wanted kids for my personal reasons and not for our mutual benefit. He would remind me of how 'busy' we both were and how kids were not of importance now.
This continued for the next three years of our marriage.
I started observing signs that James was having an extra marital affair one day when he came back homearound 10pm with a small bag which contained a birthday gift addressed to 'My angel'and some flowers. I confronted him wand asked for an explanation. James laughed loudly and told me I was being silly. He said they belonged to the wifeof a colleague of his.His colleague wanted it to be a surprise for the wife so he gave it to him (James) to take it home and bring it with him to work the following day. I believed him. Who wouldn't? The explanation seemed logical.
My world crashed one saturday morning on my way to the market when I bumped into my 'mouthed' friend Selena. As usual, she started
"Babe, whatsup? Why did you and your man break up? Wetin him do you wey you no fit forgive am. You just leave that fine man con send am go another woman hand straight? You no get chill ooo. I went for the wedding sef. The babe no even fine pass you. That her big belle come make her ugly pass. I hear say she don born sef. Girl, make you calm down oo. You sabi vex but I........"
"What! What are you talking about Selena" Abi you don carry your mouth come again? Abeg, I no get time for those your lies this morning" I blurted out.
Lies? Me? Selena seemed hurt. You know I don't lie.I was there live! Didn't James give you the invitation card I asked him to help me give you? Babe, I'm getting married o to this cute, rich, tall..."
"Selena, wait! What exactly are you saying? That my husband James is married to another woman? That this woman is pregnant? Do you know the implication of what you are saying I screamed?"
"Do you mean you are not aware of what I'm talking about? Chei! My mouth don put me for trouble today oo. Babe, no vex. I'll be on my way. I want to make enquiries on the cost of souvenirs that we'll give to guests at our wedding. Its on the 29th of this month. Make sure you come and please calm down. You look like you are going to faint."
Indeed I looked like I was going to faint. Till today, I still wonder how I didn't pass out there. I ran home immediately forgetting to pick up my shopping bag which I had dropped when Selena broke the news to me.
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