So this morning I woke up and noticed my clothes were soaked. From my stomach up to my entire shorts looked like they had been aggressively immersed in a liquid that could only be urine.
I took a glance to my left and right. No one! My vision was still blurry from sleep! screamed! My villagers have finally gotten me. I now bed wet. Then, I also noticed the back of my shorts were dry. Carton dry. A second and clearer glance to my left revealed my brother's 11year old help, Chi was lying beside me. She was soaked and dripping. Dripping piss.
Hey God! How did I let this happen? My sister- in-law had warned me against letting her lie with me on the bed. My brother had added that she urinated in a zigzag manner and could fill up a tank with urine in less than two minutes while she sleeps.
Wahdahfuq! Last night, while going through my explore page on Instagram, I stumbled on some pictures of Marvis, the former BBN housemate. See, Chi loved Marvis so much from BBN. Yes, my bro and wife let her watch the show. She is 11years old and she watched the show from start to finish (well, except on Saturday nights). All you anti-BBN activists can orgasm on that knowledge and resume signing your petitions against the next edition. 😛
My apologies for digressing. Chi saw the picture of Marvis, jumped to the bed, lay beside me and pleaded I visited the pages of other housemates. Bisola's pictures nearly drove her crazy. She eventually slept off while adoring Debie-Rise's make up.
Fast forward to this morning. While I struggled to peel the wet clothes off my skin, the little lady maintained her sound sleeping position. The stench in the room was unbearable.
"Get up", I screamed. She lazily rubbed her eyes and went back to sleep. This time, I pushed her hard while carefully avoiding the dripping clothes, so she rolled to the floor. Don't be scared. The mattress is just few inches high.
I was genuinely angry. I didn't know 11 year olds bed wet. Myself, I was 7 years when I quit bed-wetting. I was in primary 4 then and already a trouble maker. It took mum announcing my bed-wetting to my friends to make me stop. I never forgot how they laughed long and hard at me. One even mentioned it when I started trouble after church one day. In her words, "After now, you wee go and piss on the bed". I never bed wetted after that.
My Sister-in-law says every measure that has been adopted to help her stop has failed.
The essence of this long narrative is first to entertain you and second, to inquire on any measure known to help stop children from bed wetting.
I am dead serious.
XoXo
©Justina Chibueze
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