The other day, I had a clean bath, sprayed some good body spray, wore fine make up, in fact I took extra care to look good before going out.
I wore a white chiffon cropped top on a tight fitting sky blue skinny jeans. I planned to pepper those Lagos girls who think bum bum is their birth right. They have to confirm that Igbo girls got stuff too. Yea?
In this Lagos, for most people one bus cannot take you to your destination, you have to take at least two. That day I had to take three.
The first bus I entered had many ladies so no one seemed to notice my extra fineness.
It rained cat and dogs but I was in luck because the rain started and stopped before it was time for me to alight.
To get to the bus stop for bus number 2, I had to cross to the other side of the road.
Those who have seen me walk know I have a signature cat walk gait. I put in extra effort to ensure my cat walk was on full display. You should have seen the eyes. Whenever I did a pretend turn around, I saw one or two people looking in my direction and smiling. Oh the joy!!!
😋
I got to the bank and the attention was as expected. The customers were mostly male. Awwww!!! The only females there were tellers and two girls who looked like they were in secondary school.
Well, the original plan was to pepper adults not children but since they were the only females within peppering distance, I gave them.
After my transaction, I stepped out with confidence and started my journey home. You already know I stole the show once again and held it till I got to the street leading to my house.
I intended to walk the distance because cynosure. 😊
I was half way from the street to the house when a Yoruba woman selling boiled corner by the side of the street called on me; stopping the progression of my cat walk.
Madam boiled corn: Omoge, come come. Where you dey go?
Me:( looking at her like why can't you mind your business? ) I dey go house.
Madam boiled corn: Na im you dirty like this?
Me: Dirty? How?
Madam boiled corn: Turn your back make I show you.
I turned and oh noooooo!!! Lord save me. I almost fainted. My enter back, was covered in what looked like a mixture of mud and coal.
Why didn't I take note?
The second bus looked like a piece of crap (as do all Lagos molues) and it had a leaking roof. I sat at the window side of the last seat but I remember moving away from that side from which water was dripping into the bus.
Little did I know that I moved from water and ended up in poto -poto which the rain helped mix and left on both the back rest and seat.
No wonder every one could not take their eyes off me. No wonder they kept smiling.
None of those olukus even considered calling my attention to it.
Even the bum bum that I put on fleek was covered in something I couldn't describe and all along, I though it was the size that held their eyes. 😢
I don't know why the ground refused to swallow me that day.
If you do, please tell me.
#LagosNaWa
#JayTeeSays
Comments
Post a Comment